There are many things I could say about the Hounds birthday celebration last night-For instance I should probably mention the ridiculous amounts of alcohol that we all consumed or perhaps even the dance off in the middle of a salsa club that the Hound and I had with an insane middle age Asian guy who was either jumping up and down the stage while clapping or crawling between my legs either in a forward motion or backwards one-I should most probably and most importantly also mention the Strip Club we all took the Hound to. After spending 2 incredible hours amongst men and women that had their faces buried either amongst two breasts or two ass cheeks, after having a stripper called Lola sit on my lap and discuss her breasts, her degree in Business Management and her thoughts on the effects that the BP oil spill will have on our economy, and after getting the Hound blasted to the point of no return ,it was finally time for us to call it a night.
Lo and behold though we realized that one of our friends was missing!-Drunk as I was I decided to go back into the club alone and search for him in hopes that I wouldn't be interrupting the 32nd lap dance that he was receiving and most definitely enjoying. I went inside and begun to scan with my eyes the entire club-Nope, no sight of him, so I thought to myself “AHA! He might be in the back in one of those private rooms!” So I took a deep breath, summed up my courage and decided to talk to the bodyguards that guarded those back rooms as if they were guarding the gates of heaven. The conversation went something like this:
Bodyguard1: You here for the auditions?
Norma: Auditions? You guys are holding auditions at 4 am? Isn't that a bit too early?
Bodyguard2: I'm in charge of them-You got to put your name down on this list
Norma: My name? No, no, no, no-You see I'm here to search for my friend-He kinda disappeared and its time for all of us to go. I just need to find him-Can you be so kind as to go and find him and inform him that we are leaving?
Bodyguard1: You want us to go and find him? BWAHAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHHAAAAA....
BWAAAAAAHAHAHAHHAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHHA................
Norma:............
Bodyguard2: How does he look?
Norma: Tall, and he's wearing a buttoned down shirt and tie and by now his curly hair must look incredibly disheveled
Bodyguard2: Miss,you just described 3/4 of the customers here.
Bodyguard1: BWAAAAAAAAAHAHAHA ….BWAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Bodyguard2: You're not gonna find him here-You sure you don't want to try dancing a bit?
Norma:.........................................
