The 'LifeGuard'

To my shame, to my absolute shame I actually watched a full hour of a movie called ‘Lifeguard’ starring Sam Elliot. As you might have already guessed, yes, Sam Elliot did play a lifeguard in this movie. Now living here, in the greatest of all boroughs (I am referring to Staten Island of course) has most definitely skewed my taste in men a bit, otherwise I wouldn’t find my self being attracted to a man with the size of Sam Elliot’s mustache-even if he did have a perfect tan and a great body in a movie that was made 34 years ago-1976 to be exact. And even if I did forgive myself for being slightly attracted to his unusually long mustache, I can never forgive my self for being able to watch 60 straight minutes of a movie that has as a soundtrack a song called Falling In Love With The Wind- I went even further though with this movie and found out that Sam Elliot’s character in this movie was indeed a conflicted one, someone I could possibly look up to- As I was lying down on my bed, wearing a pair of pajamas that are incredibly short because they belong to my aunt, I finally saw Sam Elliot stand up for himself and his Pre-Baywatch lifestyle-A moment of absolute beauty, and I just said to myself finally a man with balls the size of his mustache-Below is the legendary quote...

[at job interview] That blond Adonis image you're talking about, that doesn't fit anymore. There's a lot of training involved. A lot of responsibility. A lot of discipline. I do more P.R. out on that beach on a summer day than you do in here in a month. But you're right. Saving lives isn't selling cars.