An exercise in self-deprecating humor. Not to be taken too seriously.
After planning the perfect escape I had to make one of the most imperfect comebacks...this is a true account of my life as it is now in Staten Island


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Friday, April 23, 2010

The Ideal Greek Body


No it does not look like the above picture. In fact, after Greek women reach their 30’s their bodies are meant to deteriorate rapidly, very, very rapidly-like mine is doing now. You see, we do not eat oatmeal for breakfast, no, our breakfast consists of large amounts of nicotine and caffeine and if we find that these two things are not enough, we will choose to eat a bacon sandwich for example- but never, I repeat, never oatmeal or fruits-or egg white sandwiches. If you ever happen to throw away the yolk of an egg in front of a Greek they will most probably pass out from the shock of what they had witnessed. So now that everything in my body is overcome by the physics of gravity, I have decided- and mind you that I am the first generation of women to ever do this in my family- to go to the gym. What is this experience like for my vegetarian gym partner that accompanies me on a daily basis? It is purgatory-its one of the circles of hell that Dante kept a secret. You see, the entire hour of us exercising consists of him delegating what I should do and me repeating one question “WHY? WHYYYYYYYYYY DO I HAVE TO DO THIS?” So today after a week of asking this question to my gym partner, I woke up in the morning at 6 am and addressed that same question to myself. And there, as I was in my gym clothes standing in front of my bed, I crawled back in it, with my gym clothes still on and slept for another 2 hours.

1 comment:

  1. That's exactly how I think I'll feel at 6 in the morning. I don't know if that's how I ACTUALLY feel if I were ever conscious at 6 in the morning. Perhaps I won't be able feel my legs therefore fail over and pass out again, but close enough...

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