My Greek Aunt and The Fate of My Cigarettes

I am officially 29 years old and yet I still hide my smoking habit from ‘Napoleon’ –my Greek aunt. In one of the fastest moves ever recorded in history, today, I effectively threw a lit cigarette into the garbage can by our kitchen sink while my aunt ran down the stairs to perform one of her usual ambushes. Not knowing what to do while I was sitting by our kitchen sink, having my aunt literally sniffing the air around me, and having me looking towards the garbage can praying that the paper towels in there wouldn’t catch on fire, I took a glass and poured warm water in it, and pretending I was thirsty I begun to gulp down the entire glass of piss warm water while watching smoke slowly rising from the garbage can -‘Something, something smells funny here.’-my aunt noted and I looked at her and shrugged my shoulders. After she sniffed the air long enough she was satisfied and went up the stairs, and I spat out the last gulp of that God awful water into the garbage can so I can prevent our kitchen from burning down… I am 29 years old.